The Fucking Night Before Christmas, Dammit ==========================================
'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house Everybody felt shitty -- even the mouse. Mom at the Whorehouse and Dad smoking grass; I'd just settled down for a nice piece of ass.
When out on the lawn I heard such a clatter I sprung from my piece to see what the matter Then out on the lawn I saw a big dick I knew in a moment: it must be Saint Nick.
He came down the chimney like a bat out of hell I knew in a moment the fat fucker fell. He filled all our stockings with pretzels and beer And a big rubber dick for my brother the queer.
He rose up the chimney with a thunderous fart The son of a bitch blew the chimeny apart, He swore and he cursed as he rode out of sight "Piss on you all and have a hell of a night!"